It’s so easy to offer a shoulder for the guy of your dreams to cry on when his girlfriend breaks up with him, but make sure that you are offering the right kind of support or you may find that you’re in the right place, at the right time, and it turns out to be the right thing for the wrong reason!
Rebound girl is there to pick up the pieces of a shattered ego. She’s there to proclaim to the world that jilted guy is a wronged man, that he should be treated better, that any girl who turns him away is a fool. All of this is balm to the battered male ego, and he’s going to latch onto the source like a safety harness, and it all looks great from your point of view — but you have to realize that this isn’t real. It’s a mirage! The guy isn’t with you at this time because he’s attracted to you, but because you are there and you’re fueling his deflated self-esteem!
It is possible that a rebound relationship can work. There are couples who are together now who started out as a jilted partner and a comforting one. These couples are more the exception to the rule than the common one however, in the majority of situations; this isn’t how it works out. Rebound girl is the one who gets her heart broken when jilted guy has his ego inflated once again and goes looking for a girl he’s attracted to — and the worst thing here is that jilted guy doesn’t even realize that rebound girl wasn’t there just to pat his shoulder and mutter the right words, she wanted the real relationship!
So if you find that guy you’ve lusted after/longed for is back on the dating market, and he needs a soft place to fall — by all means offer one. But be careful how you do it. You can’t let him think you’re after a relationship with him this soon because he’s just had one bad experience and will probably be swearing off women for the rest of his life, but you can be emotionally there for him.
Don’t fall into the habit of being “one of his friends”. Just because you’re there cheerleading for him, doesn’t mean you should be fading into the background. One thing you do have to your advantage is that if you’re the one he’s taking to lunch or going out to dinner with, there’s no other girl stepping into the void! When the time comes that you feel as if he’s starting to notice women again, it’s time to up your game. Next time he takes you out to dinner, dress up different. Let him see you not as his friend, or his ego-coach, but as a woman. An attractive single woman who is spending time with him! If he’s at all interested, you’ve got him where you want him and it’s not on the rebound!
Jane Saeman runs a site called along with info on dating and relationship on her blog at at http://www.Hot-Firefighters.com/blog2
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