Well that really depends on what you did for him to mistrust you, and whether or not you’ve actually changed the behavior. It also depends if you think that he had a reason to mistrust you in the first place, or whether it was a perceived issue on his side that created insecurity.
If you didn’t do anything wrong, then really there’s nothing to forgive. In this situation you aren’t looking for forgiveness. Asking for forgiveness indicates that you did something that needs to be forgiven. If you were wrongly accused of something by your partner, then really it’s he that should be looking for forgiveness — and do you really want to go out with a guy who assumes that just because he “thinks” you did something, or his friends told him you did, when really you didn’t? Don’t ask for forgiveness unless you really did something wrong otherwise that’s almost like a confession of guilt. Remember, the innocent don’t need forgiveness!
Now, on the other hand, if you did do something that damaged your relationship, you have to look at what it was you did, and what you should have done, and how you feel about it now. For example, if you’d known that it would end your relationship with your man, would you do the same thing again? If so, then you need to move on from this guy because you need someone who will be more tolerant. If not, then you have to find a way of showing your guy that you’re sorry about what you did, and ensuring that he knows you’re sincere when you tell him that you won’t do it again.
Think about how you would feel if he had done the same thing to you. What would you have done under the same circumstances? Would you have reacted the same way he did? If not, why not? Here is really where the solution lies. By putting yourself in his position, you see the situation not from where you stand as the person acting out the behavior, but from his place as your partner watching you. Why does it bother him so much? Would it bother you if he’d done the same thing to you?
A relationship goes through many ups and downs and trust is one of the biggest foundation stones that has to be set in place. Can he trust you? If so, then you need to find a way to have him believe that. Just saying the words isn’t enough on their own, they’re just words. If you did something wrong, and you want your partner to forgive you, you need to figure out what you would want him to do in order to prove himself trustworthy again, and then turn that into something you can offer up to your boyfriend as a start in rebuilding the trust within your relationship.
Jane Saeman runs a site called along with info on dating and relationship on her blog at at http://www.Hot-Firefighters.com/blog2
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