Is He Just Using Me?

This is a difficult question, but the fact that you’re asking it means that there’s something in how he’s interacting with you that doesn’t feel right. A woman’s intuition is a powerful thing and you need to learn to listen to it.

Sometimes it tells you everything’s okay when you’re suspicious about something, but other times, it acts as an advance radar warning of something not being as it should be. If you have that feeling, then you really need to consider what’s happening in your relationship.

Instead of dismissing the feeling out of hand, give it a little bit of thought. How does your partner act with you? Does he act the same when you are in public together as he does in private, or does he tend to leave you on your own and socialize with others at a party? Does he draw you into his crowd of friends, or shut you out? Just because you are partners doesn’t necessarily mean that you should be a constant fixture on his arm, but if his circle of friends is a mix of male and female, and he keeps you on the outside of that, it’s cause for concern.

If it’s an all guys group, that’s different. Guys together want to be guys and having a girl amongst them is inhibiting, so your partner would soon find himself on the outside if you had to tag along each time! So think about where you stand with his friends. If you’re being unreasonably shut out of his social circle, then that’s a warning flag going up.

Think about what you bring to the relationship. Are you the one who has the apartment, or the car, or the finances to pay for the activities you take part in? What does he bring to the relationship? Be honest with yourself, if you are paying for most of the life you have together, or if you are the one that does all the care taking for the pair of you, cooking and laundry for example, this is another sign to really think about.

He may just be transferring responsibility for his wellbeing from his mother to you, his partner, or he may just be using you to get his stuff done whilst he’s out looking for a more permanent relationship. You need to explore this further.

A relationship ought to be about two equal people wanting to be together. If you feel that this isn’t happening with your relationship, then you need to think honestly about what you’re getting out of the relationship compared with what you’re putting in.

Are you the love of his life, or do you feel as if he treats you as he would a mother, or even an asset he can show off when he feels like it? If so, it may be time to put his commitment to the test and break up with him. He may not come after you, but if he doesn’t, he’s no big loss! Find a man that appreciates you as his partner instead.

Jane Saeman runs a site called along with info on dating and relationship on her blog at at http://www.Hot-Firefighters.com/blog2

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